Interlude

Indeed, even cancer has its perks! I find myself filled with gratitude for the way family and friends are rallying around me. It's incredibly humbling, reassuring, and sometimes just plain fun! Here are some of the highlights so far that I will FOREVER treasure: My family closing ranks around me Make-a-wish dreams coming true 😆 My very own boob crew!! "Love you" messages filling up my phone The unstoppable flanking maneuvers of these 2 FIERCE warriors!! Knodel winter survival rescue team! The kindness of strangers In sickness and in health ALL the colorful language 😉 AND SO MUCH PINK!!! 💞💞 Never could have imagined being sustained and sheltered so deeply in a million years.  Please know, everyone stepping up for me now, I will return it to you in multitudes if life takes a turn and you ever find yourself in need.  "I've troubled for you, from time to time. That's why nothing new, can break the bind. It's the time you waste for them, that makes a frie

When I was first diagnosed, almost anything and everything was making me weepy. Lately, I've been finding myself feeling a little more even keeled, more able to think about things and even talk about them without my eyes welling up. Still, there are a couple touchstones that bring about instant tears, one being the possibility of my big brother losing all 3 of his sisters. That feels cursed, though on the flip side, it does help me to stiffen my resolve to do what I need to do to stick around. On the other hand, when I think about losing my hair, sometimes I almost feel like I'd rather die than go bald. I’ve just always had my identity tied to my hair. I really can’t stand the thought of losing it. Yes, I know it’ll grow back. Yes, I know it’s only hair. Yes, I know I need to channel my brave explorer girl from my last post, yes, yes, yes, I know all that. BUT, there's this intense fear, this deep well of vulnerability, this sense of losing what makes me me, that keeps my

If I ever waver once chemo hits, someone please remind me to just follow in the footsteps of this brave explorer! Love her so much! :) https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwW2i7ZsS38/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== In interlude & exploration, Julie

After being blindsided more than once since August, finally got some good news today! My lymph nodes were found to be negative, no spread of cancer. This was a huge relief as I've heard that my type of cancer has a 75%+ chance of having metastasized by the time of diagnosis. Thankful for early detection with a routine mammogram, and girl friends, please stay timely with yours too! Also, very excited to begin my first new job since 1999 tomorrow, with a part time gig as a Gallery Assistant at the Walker Art Center. Here's my nephew Wes and I visiting the Walker back in happier days, though, actually, I will say, our smiles aren't feeling all that anachronistic tonight. Thank you, Lord above! In Interlude, Julie

  It's predawn on an October morning. I love October, this should be one of my favorite Octobers ever, as a recent retiree finally able to enjoy autumn full time. October was one of those things I was most looking forward to... but it's currently a bit of a bust. As was August and September, actually... cancer definitely is a pro at busting things up!  Yet, it's also a pro at shining a light on what actually counts in this transient life of mine. Connections, vitality, gratitude, discovery, contemplation, anticipation... I've decided my mantra for this experience is going to be "interlude," acknowledging this pause in the action, while implicitly signifying there is still life to be lived in my second act. I've decided to start this blog for two reasons, First, for anyone who might want to know updates but might be afraid of "bothering me," though I'd like to assure everyone it's not a bother at all to hear from you. In fact, it's sus