Why Interlude?

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It's predawn on an October morning. I love October, this should be one of my favorite Octobers ever, as a recent retiree finally able to enjoy autumn full time. October was one of those things I was most looking forward to... but it's currently a bit of a bust. As was August and September, actually... cancer definitely is a pro at busting things up! 

Yet, it's also a pro at shining a light on what actually counts in this transient life of mine. Connections, vitality, gratitude, discovery, contemplation, anticipation... I've decided my mantra for this experience is going to be "interlude," acknowledging this pause in the action, while implicitly signifying there is still life to be lived in my second act.

I've decided to start this blog for two reasons, First, for anyone who might want to know updates but might be afraid of "bothering me," though I'd like to assure everyone it's not a bother at all to hear from you. In fact, it's sustaining me to know there are people out there who care, especially now when so much of my action is suspended. Secondly, as a place to express my thoughts & emotions, an outlet, so to say.


So, to catch up to speed with my diagnosis in August: I've been diagnosed with invasive micropapillary HER2+ breast cancer, which is not one of the good ones. but luckily it was caught very early, and, my oncologist assures me, is curable as long as I follow (somewhat reluctantly) her quite aggressive plan. I've had 2 surgeries and am currently waiting to find out if it's spread to my lymph nodes. I will next need to undergo a full year of treatment, starting with chemo in a few weeks. My current heartbreak is twofold. First, I'm terrified of chemo & all of its side effects, especially losing my hair. Second, we can't spend the winter in Nevada after all, which feels absolutely devastating. Anyone who knows Russ & me knows we aren't winter people, and the thought of the two of us sitting around the house all winter, with one of us bald, is more than I can take! Yikes! Anyone willing to offer any winter diversions at all will be loved beyond all measure! 


This poem by Ellen Bass, long one of my favorites, is resonating more than ever these days:





In Interlude,

Julie


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