Interlude

 I'm very happy to have completed radiation today, earning myself a second certificate! Radiation was pretty breezy....until it wasn't. I started blistering this past week and it's been super painful. As much as I despised chemo, it really wasn't painful. This has been very much so, but should subside within the next 2 -3 weeks. Happy to have at least completed the daily burning stage!  So this leaves me with two major therapies accomplished and two more to go, that I trust will both be a lot easier. I know my herceptin infusions are not bad, as I continue those until November. But in June I need to start endocrine therapy, which lasts for 5 years. This could throw me back into menopausal symptoms, which I am NOT looking forward to, as I left hot flashes in the rear view mirror almost a decade ago! Uff da!  I asked Dr. Moore when I'll know if my surgeries and therapies have worked, and she said not until I've been cancer free for five years. So I've  started...

My newest countdown is radiation, I have completed 3 of 20 so far. For 4 weeks I go 5 times a day and get zapped for about 60 seconds. It's not painful, though my position in the machine is awkward & uncomfortable. But my appointments are 15 minutes tops, and then I go about my day. Side effects are minimal so far, especially compared to chemo, and my chemo symptoms have mellowed out a lot. Still dealing with some fatigue and neuropathy, maybe a little brain fog, but mostly feeling pretty good. My hair is almost looking like a buzz cut, getting close, and I'm hoping within a couple weeks I can start getting by without covering it up all the time. That would really feel like progress!!! I did get out and have some fun between chemo and radiation. Mindy & I spent a few days in Florida. How I loved getting my toes back in that velvety white sugar sand and seeing my pelicans swoop overhead again! And the boys and I had an amazing eclipse trip to Montreal, so deeply grateful...

  Finally starting to feel signs of recovery post-chemo. Although I'm still fighting edema & neuropathy, both are lessening, and I'm experiencing good chunks of my day without my feet vibrating ~ yay! Most of the other side effects have faded away, other than fatigue, which I guess I won't be able to kick until after radiation. I walked Centennial Lakes today and though it wasn't as easy breezy as it should be, it was better than the last few times I tackled it. I'm believing again that I'll get there!  So grateful to be coming up from those dark days of chemo, just in time for spring. We have 3 days in a row this week that are expected to be in the 60's.... high time to shake off the doldrums and just soak in the shine!   In Interlude, Julie

I've been learning the hard way that it takes awhile for your body to realize you're done with chemotherapy. Still dealing with feeling fatigued and very sluggish, especially since extreme edema has set in. Spent the first week post chemo going into Methodist almost every day for tests to make sure I didn't have blood clots or heart failure, all clear, and am now on a diuretic that really isn't doing the trick. My rash is still inflamed and my neuropathy is as bad as ever. Frustrating, when I thought I'd be feeling so much better by now, but as both Dr. Moore and my wonderful acupuncturist Matt have explained to me, chemo is cumulative and my immune system has been suppressed for 13 weeks. Plus I only have the one kidney. It takes time for everything to recalibrate and recover.  Happy to say there have been bright spots aplenty. Brad is here for a visit and it's great to have his support close at hand. I had an amazing birthday with so much love and attention fr...

In Interlude, Julie

  I have spent an inordinate amount of time these past six months in my living room chair. Processing endless information about cancer and what it means to have it and be treated for it, feeling anxious over the changes coming my way, chatting, texting, laughing, crying with family and friends, sitting alone in silence and solitude. I've kept watch as summer ended, fall descended, and the darkness of winter took over my corner, with finally daylight now back on the rise. I've spent sleepless nights sitting here, reading or streaming mindlessly for hours, built this blog here, as I'm typing away on it right now, and have hoped, prayed, and cursed more than a few times from this perch. I've grown impatient over the snail's pace of time, have grappled with the many side effects of chemotherapy, and transformed from the blonde with bangs I've been my whole life, to this bald headed being. Me and my chair. Most solid thing I've got in my world most days. I've...

  Ten chemotherapy treatments behind me...only two more to go. This whole deal has gotten truly gnarly. Despite doing a ton of new things to try to counteract its effects ~ acupuncture, Chinese herbs and detox, green smoothies, qigong, much healthier eating, no alcohol or caffeine, way less sugar, daily rest, staying home to reduce exposures ~ it's feeling like chemo rules all. Nothing is as big as it is. It's just looming over me and sapping all my energy. Life feels very closed in. I thank God above for the warm spell we've been having, and I've been getting outside every single day, but the days are dragging and the world feels like it's at a standstill. I feel sad because I’m missing an important event for Danny this weekend, so that’s bumming me out too. But I just need to hang on for two more weeks. Trying not to project too far ahead, especially since I need to start radiation and continue infusions after chemo is over, but so looking forward to when I can go...