12-31-23 Palingram NYE
Anyone else a New York Times Spelling Bee enthusiast? The amazing Jenn E (who survived typhus! this year), pointed out that today's date is a palingram, tres cool, and my bout with insomnia last night already has me with a perfect connections score, a solved wordle, and a 🐝 genius by 5:00 am. I do hit 👸🏼 🐝 more often than not these days, with heavy reliance on hinters Steve G & Jenn E, but at a whopping 73 words today, genius may be good enough to cap off this bizarre year.
Indeed, what a year it has been. From New Year's Day bringing on the tragic death of Jennifer, to New Year's Eve leaving me in the depths of chemotherapy, it's been a chaotic and unpredictable spin around the sun. We faced such stress following Jennifer’s death, endured that brutal winter, I've undergone countless medical interventions, and we had three family members make major moves, with Bev & Tony leaving Minnesota and Danny leaving California ~ all with ripple effects. Danny spent the summer at home, for the first time in a decade, and I love having him back in Chicago, but it's made California feel like a lost dream. We reluctantly relinquished our well-laid plans of finally being snowbirds this winter, though thankfully this year's El Nino is feeling like a godsend in return. Most significantly, this was the year both Russ and I retired, which is so much more complex and unsettling than it seems from afar. Although ultimately I'm relieved I retired, since it's made navigating cancer so much easier (can't even imagine working full-time through this), retiring didn't come easy to me, and I've felt quite adrift. Retirement is one of life's most monumental decisions, it doesn't get enough credit for how shape shifting it truly is, and although it has its perks, it also has its pangs. Between retirement and cancer, 2023 has been an astonishing identity stripper for me. Who am I now? No longer an educator, no longer a working stiff, no longer even a blonde, who am I at the burnt crusty edges of 2023? And who in the world will I be next year? Not even Steve G nor Jenn E can clue me in here! I need to put my trust in the universe, and be grateful that I'm here to knock on the door of yet another new year, whatever it may bring.
I've always been drawn to the quote below, even though this is the first time I could ever identify what kind of a year I just had. Enough with all these answers already, 2023! You've been heavy and laden and enough is enough. I'm more than ready for a sense of possibility in my life again.... so c'mon 2024, bring on the questions, and if answers do come our way, might you please go just a little easier on us? Pretty please?
Wishing everyone in my orbit a safe and hopeful New Year! Love to you all! 💜
